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Funny Lawyer Candle - Sassy Law School Graduation Gift

Funny Lawyer Candle - Sassy Law School Graduation Gift

Regular price $20.99
Regular price Sale price $20.99
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  • Organic & Vegan
  • Cruelty Free
  • Free Shipping Over $50

⚖️ Objection! Your Honor, This Candle is Guilty... of Being Hilarious. For the legal professional who deserves hazard pay for dealing with:

  • "I saw it on TikTok" legal advice
  • Clients who lie to their own attorney
  • That one opposing counsel who... exists

✨ Why Law Offices Love This
 Reusable Jar: Holds pens, or stress balls
 Perfect For:

  • Bar exam survival kits
  • Law firm secret Santa
  • "Sorry I Billed You For This" apologies

📝 Product Specs:

  • 9oz natural soy wax (50hr burn)
  • Perfect team gag gift
  • Optional customization 

When clients test your last nerve: This 'We Can't Fix Stupid' candle is the perfect sarcastic gift for new attorneys, paralegals, or anyone who just passed the bar (and regrets it).

Fragrance Descriptions

100% Soy Wax (Black Lid Candle):

  • Atlantis Whisper: Salty oceanic notes, dark musk, sandalwood, and a medley of essential oils evoking the lost city's timeless allure.
  • Christmas Warmth: Cozy blend of orange spice, fir, pine, and a smoky fireplace aroma infused with essential oils for festive warmth.
  • Cinnamon Vanilla: Sweet and creamy accords of vanilla, infused with natural essential oils (including gurjun balsam).
  • Coconut Cream + Cardamom: Exotic curry, zesty lemon, and rich butter top notes with a heart of creamy coconut, spicy pepper, and aromatic cardamom, finishing with a sweet, musky, powdery dry-down.
  • Peppered Passionfruit: Vibrant orange, fresh melon, lush green, and juicy pineapple top notes with a heart of succulent mango, creamy coconut, delicate jasmine, and tangy passionfruit, grounded in warm amber, musk, and sandalwood.
  • White Sage + Lavender: Lavender top notes with camphor, chamomile, sage, rosemary, and a sandalwood and cedarwood base.

Coconut Apricot Wax (Gold Lid Candle):

  • Beachwood: Zest of sea salt and orange peel, harmonizing with crisp grass scents.
  • Cashmere Musk: Top notes of bergamot and saffron, with a soothing blend of dark musk and vetiver.
  • Cinnamon Chai: Zesty orange peel and rich black tea, with hints of nutmeg and peppercorn, and a base of vanilla, clove, and cinnamon for comfort and nostalgia.
  • Fraser Fir: Refreshing burst of cypress and lemon peel, settling into a comforting base of fir, amber, and moss.
  • Lavender: Citrus and bergamot top notes, with camphor, eucalyptus, and a soft touch of cedar.
  • Midnight Blackberry: A blend of blackberry, raspberry, and champagne.
  • Mango Coconut: Uplifting orange and pineapple zest, transitioning to juicy peach and mango, with a sweet base of sugar and creamy coconut milk.
  • Vanilla Bean: Rich buttercream and sugary cake top notes, pure vanilla heart, and smooth bourbon base.

Product Details

4oz 100% Soy Wax Jar Physical Dimensions (With black Lid)

  • Height: 2.56" (6.50cm)
  • Diameter: 2.36" (6cm)
  • Burn time: Up to 20 hours

9oz 100% Soy Wax Jar Physical Dimensions (With black Lid)

  • Height: 3.5" (8.90cm)
  • Diameter: 2.87" (7.30cm)
  • Burn time: Up to 50 hours

4oz Coconut Apricot Wax Jar Physical Dimensions (With gold Lid)

  • Height: 2.5" (6.35cm)
  • Diameter: 2.30" (5.84cm)
  • Burn time: Up to 20 hours

9oz Coconut Apricot Wax Jar Physical Dimensions (With gold Lid)

  • Height: 3.5" (8.89cm)
  • Diameter: 2.0" (7.11cm)
  • Burn time: Up to 50 hours

  • Materials: Natural 100% Soy Wax (black lid) and Coconut Apricot Wax (gold lid), lead-free cotton wick, reusable amber glass jar.
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Shipping & Delivery

FLAT RATE SHIPPING USD 8.99 | Free Shipping Over $50

CURRENT PROCESSING TIME: 2-5 BUSINESS DAYS

Delivering to United States
Standard: USPS Priority (3-5 business days)

Important Notes:

  • Delays/Lost Packages: Once shipped, we are not liable for delays, lost, or stolen packages. USPS Priority includes $50 insurance; full-coverage insurance is available upon request email us.
  • Address Issues: If a package is returned due to an incorrect address or failed pickup, a reshipment fee will apply.
  • No Returns/Exchanges

For questions, contact us.

For more information please see our Shipping Policy.

30 Day Return Policy

Our Satisfaction Guarantee
We stand behind our products and want you to love your purchase. If you receive a defective or damaged item, please contact us within 30 days of delivery and we'll make it right. All returns must comply with our Returns Policy for a smooth resolution.

Pure, Conscious Luxury

Crafted with plant-based Soy Wax and Coconut Apricot Wax. Hand-poured in small batches in the USA, our candles redefine clean indulgence.

  • 100% Vegan & Non-Toxic – Free from lead, plastics, parabens, phthalates, and synthetic dyes.
  • Clean-Burning – A pure, even flame without harmful emissions.
  • Thoughtfully Sustainable – From eco-conscious wax to recyclable packaging.

Experience fragrance as nature intended—where uncompromised purity meets artisanal craftsmanship.

Candle Care

Before Lighting Your Candle:
Always trim wicks before each use:

  • Cotton wicks: 1/4 inch length
  • Wood wicks: 1/8 to 3/16 inch length
  • Keep wax pool clear of any debris, including wick trimmings and matches

While Your Candle Burns:

  • Never leave unattended - always keep in sight
  • Keep at least 12 inches from anything flammable (curtains, bedding, etc.)
  • Keep out of reach from children and pets
    Rotate candle occasionally for even burning

See more about Candle Safety.